I completed this exercise on 15th October. This is two weeks later than planned because I injured my back and was very immobile for the last fortnight . When it was time to restart I really struggled with motivation to complete this as coming back to it, the problems seemed to have become more obvious. I was tempted to start the next exercise but am glad I stuck with this and completed it. I think in future I must plan my study periods better so that I don't have to leave an uncompleted piece of work for over a week while I'm away working. It causes a loss of momentum.
The issues with perspective and foreshortening remain. I haven't been able to correct them. The baked bean and tuna tins in the centre are the most problematic area.
I enjoyed using colour. However, I think that I haven't really represented the tonal variations very well, for example the darkest shadows here are not dark enough. Also some of the surfaces were more reflective than they appear as I haven't left bright enough highlights or given sufficient tonal contrast to capture this. This means that as a whole the arrangement looks rather flat. I've coloured it in rather than building up form.
Despite all these weaknesses, ultimately I have enjoyed this exercise and don't think the final result is too bad for this stage in the course.
Hello Aylish
Thanks for sending me the link. It looks as if you have been keeping
up despite your travels, so well done. Overall the work itself looks
fine. You have grasped the exercises and talk well throughout about
your difficulties en route through each exercise. The difficulties you
are having with the recent still life will be helped by studying the
negative space (the spaces between the objects) and this will become
easier over time. Overall the scale and 'look' of your objects look
fine, you just need to keep practicing how the objects relate to each
other more, but overall this is not a bad first effort. The work
should become easier when you are at home with a better, more
consistent natural light rather than artificial lighting from hotel
rooms.
Also be a little more wary as you reflect on your experiences in your
log of the language you use. The learning log should be considered to
be a 'serious' reflective document, ie the word 'posh' should be
replaced with 'higher quality' crayons when you describe your
frustrations at using cheaper WH Smith crayons for example. If you
appear more serious with your descriptions, your assessors will take
you more seriously later on! Although the log is supposed to
demonstrate your personal journey through the course, it is regarded
to be academic in content, therefore the use of language needs to be
considered.
I hope this gives you a good sense of critical feedback so far. keep
me in touch as you head towards completion.
Regards
Hayley
This is some very useful feedback I received from Hayley. As a result I've looked back at my blog and altered some of the language to give a slightly formal register. I had previously been treating it like an informal personal diary. I now realise that I need to approach this as more of an academic exercise to demonstrate a serious and thoughtful approach to my work.
It is true that I'm struggling with the relationships between objects, both with creating a pleasing composition and with creating believable space. Some of my jars and jugs seem to levitate above the others. Objects that are foreshortened are also a problem. I hope I will be able to progress with these issues as I move through the course.
